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Ellen kindly allowed me to use her write-up to describe the Memorial, as I was a bit overwhelmed afterword and found myself unable to put anything down on paper or keyboard. Here is her moving account - Genny Obert
I didn't cry as much as I thought I might. But I cried enough . . .
The minister who started it off spoke in words as beautiful as his voice, so warm and deep and
sweet, even as he joked about how a churchie like himself had become a friend of the
not-exactly-churchie Brian. In a moment of silence, those
unable to be present were invited into our hearts and I
gathered up as many of you all as I could.
Sister Genny spoke next about growing up with Brian, and
Mary Greer wrote a bit about that in her post to Comparative Tarot
and TarotL. What she didn't mention was Genny's bravery
throughout, her voice breaking only towards the end.
Maybe I didn't cry enough, since I'm crying again now.
Amico Paolo spoke next about adopting Brian into la famiglia
italiana and christening him Briano. Then Genny's ten year
old daughter Molly Ann played "Morning Mood" on the piano
and "Ode to Joy" on the flute, because "Uncle Brian asked me
to."
Thalassa spoke next, and just in time, for those who could
not yet cry needed so desperately to laugh. Even for those
who could, the laughter was a blessing. More poignant humor
came in Alessandro's reading of Brian's own words, his
"business plan" for the gay bar in Venice, which included
the necessity of restoring perversity to that most beautiful
of cities.
Andrea's reading in Italian from the "Paradiso" followed
like honey.
And then Jeff's first words, "My boyfriend is an angel,"
fairly broke my heart. He spoke of their passion and their
pain and I don't know how he could bear it. My guess is he
can't, really, although he must. He exhorted us all to
remember that being "right" in a relationship doesn't mean
you win. It means you lose.
Jeff, along with brother John and Genny and her family,
gathered around the large and lovely urn that graced the
stage, and with small hammers they broke it into pieces. A
bag containing Brian's ashes was revealed within.
It was the most loving Tower I have ever witnessed.
Or experienced. For I felt all my notions about living and
suffering fall apart as well.
A rabbi then stepped up and spoke of Elijah's mantle. And
the Kaddish. And we all stood as he recited sacred words I
could feel but not understand. Others could. ...
All around me voices spoke the Kaddish
for our beloved Brian.
We sat down again, and the gentle voiced minister returned
for a final prayer, a Buddhist blessing. And the
formal ceremony was done.
Mary [Greer] had been sitting in front of me, and she now turned
around and offered cards from the PoMo Tarot. "What part of
Brian's mantle do you take with you?" she asked.
For me it was the Nine of Guns. Goya's Execution of Rebels.
Turning pain into art to change our consciousness.
Shattered, I stood up. And walked over to the party that was
just beginning.
Ellen is the artist and author of the "Tarot of the Crone." Please visit Ellen's Homepage.
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